How to Deal with Emotional Abuse

You don’t deserve the abuse, it’s definitely not your fault and you don’t have to live with it.

How to Deal with Emotional Abuse

If you fear immediate physical violence, get to a safe place if you can. You can also call 911 or your local emergency services for help.

If you aren’t in immediate danger and you need to talk or find some place to go, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233. This free, confidential 24/7 hotline can put you in touch with service providers and shelters across the United States.

Don’t Try to Fix Them

You may want to help, but it’s often difficult for abusive people to change their behavior without professional support. You can encourage them to work with a therapist, but they have to make the choice themselves. It takes time and effort; people can change, but that doesn’t mean they will and not everyone does. Change is often complicated and it doesn’t always happen the way you envision.

Avoid Self-Blame

Remember, you never deserve abuse, no matter what you’ve said or done. The only person responsible is the one engaging in abusive behavior.

Prioritize Your Needs

Taking care of your physical and emotional needs can help you move forward to a place where you feel comfortable setting boundaries, reaching out for support, and leaving the abusive situation.

Avoid Engaging with Them

Don’t reply to their text messages, phone calls, or emails. If you can’t avoid working or spending time with them, try to keep another person with you and limit your conversation to essential topics.

Set Personal Boundaries

Decide how you’ll avoid responding to manipulation or getting pulled into arguments. Express those limits to the person using abuse tactics and stick to them. You might say, for example, “If you call me names, I’ll go home,” or, “If you start teasing me in public, I’ll leave.”

Build a Support Network

It might feel frightening to open up about what you’ve experienced, but reaching out to loved ones and a supportive therapist can go a long way toward helping you get the support you need to heal.

Exit the Relationship or Circumstance

State clearly that the relationship is over and cut all ties, if possible. Block their number and social media accounts, and ignore attempts to reach out.

Give Yourself Time to Heal

Take space to focus on your needs and recovery. This might involve rediscovering your sense of self, creating a new self-care routine, and talking with a support group and therapist who can offer guidance with recovery.

How to Deal with Emotional Abuse